I often tell others that today is the only day that matters and let peace be with you.
I was reminded of this again regarding a recent health scare.
Like so many others who have sat across from their doctor who said, “It’s probably nothing, but we should check it out just to be sure,” I was struck with panic and I stopped listening. I flashed back to my cancer diagnosis eight years ago. It was the same feeling: shock!
The doctor asked me to wait a month and come back, and if things had not improved, he recommended a biopsy. A biopsy. What!? The doctor’s assistant could see I was in distress and mouthed to me, “Probably nothing.” I know she was well intended and I was hoping she was correct.
A month is a very long time when you’re concerned. I tried all of my calming techniques: pray, meditation, and journaling. I kept telling myself, “You don’t know anything yet. Stay calm.” — my typical well-intended response when a friend or family member receives this type of news.
Why me?
I did find moments of peace through the month … but it is easier said than done. I was also fearful, switching between “why me?” and “here we go again.”
After a month, I did see a specialist who did the biopsy and said it’s either stress related or cancer. Really, those are my options?! He tried to be comforting and said it’s probably just stress related. I drove away repeating to myself, “I am not stressed. I don’t feel stressed. Why would I be stressed? There is nothing to be stressed about in my life.”
Well it turns out I AM stressed. Very stressed. I’ve gotten so used to it that I don’t even know I’m stressed. The gift of all this has been to stop and remember this is the only day that matters, and I need to let peace be with me.
Dealing with Stress
I journaled about my stress which always helps me. I called a dear friend and she listened while I talked out my frustration, disappointment, and fear.
I went back for my results and am grateful to say everything is fine. But I’m making changes: I’m committing to slow down, set better boundaries, and choose peace.
How will you choose peace today?