I come from the generation that did whatever your doctor told you to do. After all, they’ve spent many years going to college, medical school, and through residency – not to mention their on-the-job experience.
I have tremendous respect for doctors, and I believe you should listen to what they have to say and weigh your options. However, during my journey with cancer, I also learned that you must be your own advocate. Any good doctor – including my sister, who is a doctor and one of my sources of strength – welcomes patient input and involvement.
Here are five things that I learned along the way:
- Become an expert on your illness.
Do your own research. There are many places to find information: your doctor’s office, the hospital, the library, the book store, numerous websites. Seek out reliable and respectable sources of information (especially when searching online). Take notes and jot down questions to ask your doctor on your next visit. Make sure that you’re researching and learning, but not letting the process take over your life. Remember, taking time to decompress is super important to your health.
- Stop reading if you get scared!
The information you’re finding should feel empowering. If it’s not, stop reading! It may seem counterintuitive after what I just said above, but the endless supply of information (and oftentimes misinformation) can also create anxiety and confusion. It can paralyze you with fear, which will have the opposite effect of advocacy. Instead, take note of what scared you – and why – then talk to your doctor about it.
- Seek advice.
Find others who have been in your situation: friends, family, coworkers, and support groups, either online or in person. I joined Gilda’s Club, an amazing place with a wealth of support and information. (Learn more about working with me during individual sessions or Pink Bridge women’s circles.)
- Listen to yourself.
Get quiet, be reflective, and tap into your higher self. It’s important to stay calm, both for your physical and mental health. Listen to tapes that can teach you how to control your breath or meditate. I know firsthand that it’s easier said than done! There were so many times that I was scared, anxious, and one step away from a complete emotional break down. I discovered that when I calmed down, I handled everything better. (I also found that journaling was one of the best things that I could have done.)
- Speak up.
Ask for what you need. Medical appointments can go by quickly so be prepared. Write down your questions before you go in and make sure that you get every one answered before leaving that office. Never be embarrassed to pull out your notebook where you’ve written down your questions, and don’t go to your appointments alone. Take a friend or family member to help you remember what was said and ask any follow up questions you may not think of. You’ll be receiving a lot of information during this time and it can be overwhelming. Keep asking questions until you really understand. Be assertive with your medical team.
Finally…
You need to have a voice in your care. At any time, get a second opinion, especially if something doesn’t feel right or you need more information to make a decision. This is common and the best doctors will never take offense if you tell them you’re going to do so. They may even be able to refer you to a trusted colleague if you don’t have someone in mind.
Remember it’s your life and your care. Ultimately, it’s your decision on how it’s managed. Educate yourself, seek out a strong support system – including medical professionals – and practice self-care.
Be well,
Deb